Divorce Series Part 1: Choosing the Style that Fits You

In order to be the best Money Coach possible to my clients, a well-rounded understanding of all milestones you might face is crucial. I’m pleased to say I’m now a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and I am going to share some of the basics to help you start on the right foot if you are wondering how to divorce.

Divorce is devastating. Despite the fact that only 5% of divorces are litigated (IDFA), emotions can run high. And the fear of living on less than the combined household income has its own set of challenges. Money decisions are emotional on a good day, but during a divorce emotions are on red alert. For example,

  • We are easily triggered when someone pushes our emotional buttons;

  • Sleep deprivation and emotional fatigue erode common sense;

  • We are tempted to act out anger, revenge, or seek comfort through spending money;

  • For some, there is significant pressure to learn our finances for the first time so we can make wise decisions when it comes to the division of assets.

 

The Different Types of Divorce

Divorce options reflect monetary, relationship, and time considerations.

 

Mediation:

A trained, independent 3rd party works with you as a couple to negotiate an amicable divorce. The mediator does not give advice (legal or non-legal). Each party retains your own legal counsel; however, you do not necessarily need to have your lawyers attend the mediation discussions. Agreements can be referred to lawyers for review and assessment at the end, which reduces legal costs. Mediators are typically therapists, attorneys, financial advisors or social workers.

 

Collaborative Divorce:

This is a team approach to divorce. Your family obtains professional help from experts in the legal, financial and mental health fields depending on your needs. Sometimes medical and child experts are involved. Each team member brings their expertise to the table and combines it with recommendations from the other members. The lawyers representing each party will have gone through special training. All parties are committed to find a “win-win” and cannot go to court or threaten to do so. This is a valuable alternative when one side needs advocacy – they may be mentally ill, or particularly unaware of financial matters.

 

Litigation:

This is typically the most antagonistic, expensive, drawn out means of divorce. Substantial assets may be consumed just in the divorce process alone. 5% of divorces are litigated.

Arbitration:

If as a couple you cannot negotiate terms acceptable to both sides you can choose to work with an arbiter. You and your spouse would each present your own argument without lawyers and the arbiter will have the final decision.

I’ve introduced the different types of divorce here, so stayed tuned next for my blog on how a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can help you by reducing costs and dividing assets.

Your Personal Money Coach & CDFA©,

Carrie

 

By Carrie Rattle | Founder, Behavioral Cents

Carrie Rattle is a Master Money Coach, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst & Founder of Behavioral Cents. She is a 30-year veteran executive of financial services. Behavioral Cents helps women achieve independence, freedom, and a bigger voice in the world. By building a fatter bank account women can confidently walk away from a bad job, build a business to change the world, or live their own dreams. Behavioral Cents delivers a private, non-judgmental atmosphere with a program tailored to change your money behaviors for the better – without deprivation.

Are you thinking about or ready to begin your divorce?

The dtour.life platform helps you prepare for and manage this complicated journey. Our tools deconstruct the divorce process so that you can better understand what is required and more easily organize the family & financial facts and reports that will be needed. With secure digital collaboration, you have more control and can far more easily update and manage the data along the way – with your professionals, with your spouse, or both.  Never hesitate to contact us with any questions no matter how small or how big. [email protected]. We’ve got you. You’ve got this.

By Storey Jones Founder & CEO

In her third career and with almost twenty years of experience in the divorce industry, Storey is leading the effort to change the way couples think about and participate in the divorce process. Storey believes that to fully redefine this life transition, fundamental change must occur for both the families going through it and the divorce professionals who guide them. Armed with this mission, she built dtour.life, the first digital infrastructure platform to facilitate the divorce process for everyone involved. Technology innovation provides greater access to justice, brings empowerment and cost-savings for families and new functionality for professionals to more efficiently provide their strategic and procedural expertise.

Prior to founding her San Francisco Bay Area divorce consultancy, Lemon Tree Advisors, and dtour.life, Storey was president of Addis, a brand strategy and design firm where for 13 years she was integral to its growth and vision. Storey has a B.A. from Colgate University.

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